Pat Buchanan asks:

As racial, ethnic and religious hatreds pull people apart and create terrorists all over our disintegrating world, why would we make ourselves ever more diverse?

Stock answer:

For the cuisine, of course!

If we bring in 50,000 Syrians without security checks we can have kibbeh, kebab halabi, waraq inab, hummus, tabbouleh, fattuosh, labneh, shawarma, mujaddara, shanklish and bastirma.

If we bring in 100,000 Somalis we can have chicken, beef, lamb and goat fried in ghee, spiced with turmeric, coriander, cumin and curry and eaten with basmati rice.

If we bring in 40,000 Afghans we can have Pulao! You haven’t lived if you haven’t had a jihadist prepare you a home-cooked meal.

If we bring in more Roma we can enjoy down-home Gypsy cooking, wherever “home’” happens to be. What kind of things do Roma cook? Anything they can get their hands on.

If we bring in more Vietnamese, Koreans, and Chinese, we can have fresh dog. By the way, where is my dog? Have you seen him? In Vancouver there are people with dogs in every wok of life.

And if only the federal government would fast-track tens of thousands of people from Guangdong province we could eat a variety of endangered species–pangolin, giant salamander, owls, monitor lizards–maybe even tiger penis and rhino horn. And there is nothing like piping-hot wild snake soup on a cold winter’s day. The more endangered it is, the tastier!

Variety is the spice of life.

If we could have these culinary options in our neighborhoods and towns, you could forget all about your European cultural heritage and the baggage that comes with it. Baggage like the traditions of free speech, property rights, individual liberties, the rule of law, women’s equality–you know–abstract stuff like that.

So what if wealthy Chinese have priced you out of the real estate market? You can eat the best that Asian cuisine has to offer. So what if you have to compete with cheap imported labor for miserable minimum-wage jobs? You will have had a rich culinary experience. So what if you can’t read half the signs in your city? Your life has been enriched.

Before mass immigration and the promotion of multiculturalism, cities like Toronto and Vancouver were boring Anglo-Canadian places where people never had to lock their doors or escort their kids to school. But now they are vibrant with diversity! There is a diversity of criminal gangs, a diversity of ethnic frictions, a diversity of diversity awareness and cultural sensitivity workshops, a diversity of college speech codes, a diversity of police hate-crimes units, a diversity of kangaroo courts. All we know is that thanks to all of this diversity, Canada is a much more interesting place than it was in those dull white-bread days.

Speaking of bread, oh what I wouldn’t give for an exotic snack right now. I would trade the Magna Carta for a serving of sushi. In fact, I would sell out my country for a Third-World dining experience. Who in my generation of millennials wouldn’t? After all, we’re fed a steady diet of multicultural propaganda throughout our lives as students, from grade one on up. Yet somehow I still feel empty. Maybe it was the MSG.

A reply by Lord Rodney Peters:

I say, enough of this sarcasm! As an English boy who lived on the Channel Islands under Nazi occupation, I can tell you that the Germans did a lot to perk up our appetites. Before they came, we ate kippers, fish and chips, marmite sandwiches–you know–the typical English fare. But along came the SS and the Wehrmacht to bring us schinkenbrot, schnitzel, sauerkraut and Lowenbrau beer. Sure, they shipped some of us off to concentration camps and work details never to return , but we had ethnic food to die for.

There is nothing like a foreign invasion to spice up your life! I grant you that mass immigration has given Britain the highest population density in Europe, but with that comes a higher density of Asian and Middle Eastern restaurants. Along with the sunshine you have to a little rain sometimes. So move over, squeeze tighter and make room for more and more.